Yo, I'm keepin' it real...

This made me snort soda out my nose.

Word.

Pounds lighter

I'm really in a mood. I think I've lost 300 pounds.

See, I've been trying to de-clutter the house a little bit at a time a la FLYLady, and I can't tell you the bags and bags of stuff I've tossed in the past few weeks. It feels good to get rid of things. It feels like one day I will be able to have space for all the stuff I DO need.

So as part of the Pre-Spring-Cleaning jag I'm on, I spent the evening digging through the mess that was on the TV stand in my bedroom. And the big box next to it. And all I've got to say is "Woah, Nellie!"

Here's some of what I found:

* a nametag I used in Academic Decathlon in high school (People, I have a CHILD that same age now)

* a picture of my ninth grade crush/neighbor I haven't thought about in eons

* my 9th grade school ID

* a bracelet I bought at my first job at a department store that broke the week I got it

* two of the $100 savings bonds the in-laws bought the Bigun

* a $100 savings bond they bought for the Little Critter

* the precinct information from working the local Congressional campaign four years ago

* tickets to the concert we took the Bigun to for her 10th birthday while I was seven months pregnant

* programs from two puppet workshops

* a picture of me on roller skates, skating backwards (that one was actually pretty recent)

* What to Expect when You're Expecting (The LC is SEVEN already)

* newspaper with the headlines and details for the 2000 election and the front page section of the September 12th 2001 paper

* our 1999 tax return

* three books I was about to buy again because I thought they were lost

* the title to JJ's car

You get the picture. I can't wait to tackle my closet shelves. I know there's more high school memories to dispose of in there. I think holding them *coughtwentyomigodcough* years is about enough. I am determined not to be the old lady with stacks of junk six feet high throughout the house.

And I am available to do this at your house. If you can afford me.

Home again, home again

What a wonderful thing to pull into our driveway yesterday.

We had a good time with all the relatives. I have to admit that few of the things I was dreading happened. I guess the visit was too short and the people too busy. I did one pretty horrible thing; give a "movie theme" basket with popcorn popper and popcorn (plus movie), to my SIL who has false teeth. I just totally blanked about her teeth, really. But I'll make it up to her. Until I do, though, I'll feel pretty bad. Let's hope for big post-Christmas clearances!

Speaking of that, Amy, Trace, Kimmer, Katie, anyone else I'm missing; we ARE going to start planning now, aren't we? For next Christmas? I mean, I know we are all Christmassed out, but we can make one more dynamic push and knock out half of next year!

Today's assignment: make a list of what people you may have to buy for next year. Then jot down what they received this year. It may help jog your memory next fall. Or it will give you a direction to go in. Get ten names down on paper and some things they received or spoke about wanting. We can do that much!

I made toffee and peppermint bark oreos and Ritz pb sandwiches in chocolate, and filled tins for everyone. My family weren't too excited, but my in-laws were passing the tin around the minute I gave it to them. Definitely going to do that again. And I made JJ's 100-year-old grandma Oreo truffles, which were also a huge hit. Definitely going to do that again too. Those hummers disappeared quickly. To keep the kids from running off with all of them, I had to dip marshmallows in chocolate too.

I had a great time chatting with JJ's dad, Big J. We rarely get to do that. Big J and my MIL have been to stay with Grammy way up on the OK border until, I guess, she passes. Which won't be soon; Grammy is in wonderful condition, thank the Lord, and will be with us some time yet. So Big J and I got caught up on politics and the family. He can talk politics all day. He calls Nancy Pelosi "That Palosky." It's just so cute sometimes. I think he was lonely for the family, because JJ and the Little Critter both spent some time hanging out in back with Big J. The LC even read an entire book to Big J, which one of her cousins illustrated.

But back to being home...

We had to unload the van and smuggle the LC's new tv out of hiding before she went in, which was a feat. And we discovered that if the LC was going to have cable, her room and closet would have to be completely rearranged. That only took two hours; two hours I'll never get back. But it does look bigger and neater in there. The test? A slumber party tonight with two of the least-inclined-to-pick-up-after-themselves children she knows. Lord knows what it will look like in the morning.

We rewarded ourselves with our dilligence and stamina by escaping to Waffle House for dinner and then starting Season 5 of 24. Twenty days to watch 24 episodes. Can we do it?

I'm on a roll after the LC's room. I have to keep it up while I have momentum. Zoom!

I don't really hate Christmas. Really.

But I do hate how much it costs me. Not so much in money, though that's a consideration. But in energy, aggravation, moodiness, frustration, and plain old inconvenience. I don't like what meeting the demands of the season turns me into (into what the demands of the season turn me?) I don't do frazzled well. It doesn't look good on me.

I'm going to let go of the "Perfect Gift" myth next time, I swear. More on that another time.

I'm going to make any damned excuse I have to, perhaps even up to breaking a bone, (yes, mine) to stay in my own house next Christmas. My kids have NEVER awakened in their own beds in their lives on Christmas morning. I can't stand that. (This year JJ and the LC and I are staying at a hotel, for Pete's sake.) It makes the whole decorating thing seem really superfluous at my house. Consequently, the tree is never really completely trimmed, the wrapping paper stays out in the den on the extra table, and I don't feel like the holiday is mine. I'm just on loan to other people. I should have moved farther away. It would have solved a lot of problems. Anyone know of a place that pays obscenely well for a puppeteer/script writer? Perhaps in Burkina Faso?

I'm going to quit expecting certain members of the family to behave decently. Like Kay, for instance, who after hearing my 20 second prayer at Thanksgiving, stated at top voice "Hey, we could have eaten half our dinner by now. Everything's cold!" Why do I let that kind of stupidity hack me off regularly? We all know she must have been dropped on her head or something. She always was a wrong'un. I have to let that go. It's too late to return her and get the money back.

I'm going to vow to walk if my mother tries to corner me and ask some probing question like why we only spent $2500 (a horrible exaggeration, don't stroke out) on the Bigun and we spent $2580 on the Little Critter. Or why, when the Bigun is now a full-fledged (how does one go about getting fledged? But I digress) member of the Armed Forces and has therefore acquired medical benefits, I am expected to go into deeper debt to put contact lenses in the girl's eyes because she won't look into the benefit information. I don't recall having them myself after her age until I got married and begged DH for them. And I still go around with the specs a lot of the time.

I'm absolutely going to get the new year off to a better start than the last one. I just have to work myself up to it.

Send chocolate.

UPDATE: Don't send chocolate. I have a ton. I made six (six!) batches of toffee w/chocolate today. I am so over chocolate. I can't even make myself go take my one-and-only-one-after-dinner-chocolate right now. But I do feel all Betty Crocker.

And God bless friends. S, who is mighty good for a girl's ego to begin with since she christened me a Coupon Gu-ress (Guru/Princess) has agreed to come over umpteen times a day and feed, water and walk the pooches. She's saving me a bundle.

I should pay her in toffee.

Frugality and me

These questions are via Biblical Womanhood, via Frugal Homemaker. I thought this looked like fun to ponder.

1. What is the best resource for frugality you've found (book, magazine, website, etc.)? Definitely the Grocery Game Message Board. Before I found them, though, it was the Tightwad Gazette. That started it all with me. The message board just keeps me up to speed in the hot deals and helps me refine my organization skills.

2. What is the best deal you've gotten recently? Four FREE Cranium games at Target. Hello, Christmas! Love that coupon stacking thing!

3. What is your best idea for a creative and inexpensive gift? Food! I'd love to be able to give everyone fudge and chocolate-dipped cookies and Oreo Truffles. I just read a recipe for Cherry Snowballs I'm itching to try. It means more to me to give things like that, things I had to work hard to produce. I'm much better at peanut brittle than I am at buying something for my mother. Anyone know where I can get an impossibly cheap iPod?


Let me say that the worst thing I've done for my pocketbook is have a teenager! Okay, she's worth a heck of a lot in intangibles, but between braces, boot camp graduation, a D.C. Educational Forum trip, and a car, we're pretty much busted. Like, for years into the future. Thank God the army will pay for college, because my parents sure expected us to. And I have to tell the folks The Well. Is. Dry. I'm afraid I'll soon have to get a j-o-b soon to pay her off. And that's so not what I wanted to do. I've taken on so much volunteer stuff that it would be a complete overturning of everything to do more than the weekend/occasional church job I have now. And in addition, I didn't work very much when she was in school, so I'd like to give her little sister the opportunity to have Mom be a Homeroom Mom and a Presence on Campus for her too. So either it's get radically frugal or w-o-r-k.

Ick.

Good thing I have a freezer bursting with food and two free turkeys to get smoked. At least we'll eat. It's a start!

Because I love...

As Frosty the Snowman says, Happy Birthday! Here's your present.

Alamo Draft House = movie heaven

For someone who has so much to do, I certainly don't have much to say, do I?

I got new jeans, and cut off the hem. Shut up. I'm short. Sue me. It's the style, too, apparently, so I'm out for 10 more pair. Might as well be in style once in my life.

I was going to get sworn in as precinct chair Monday but the executive committee didn't have a quorum. So I'm a limbo chair.

Two days until school breaks for Christmas. No time to shop before the kids are home. No money anyway. Making fudge today in hopes teacher-type people like it.

Got voted PTA treasurer for the next two years. Officially installed in March. And, since I missed that meeting, also got nominated to the audit committee. Wheee! (Note to self: do not skip meetings ever. Clone self if necessary.)

And finally, JJ and I went on a DATE.

(you may pick yourself up off the floor now)

I got passes from a friend to the Alamo Draft House Theatre last weekend, and two kids spending the night elsewhere on the same night. So away we went to see Bond. But not in just any theatre.

Alamo has movie theatre seating, but instead of another row directly in front of you, there's a counter. On the counter, there are menus and a lovely server comes to you before the show starts and explains how to order. You eat dinner, appetizers, whatever, right there in the theatre. And if you need to order during the show, you raise a little piece of paper and the server comes back. This server brings you whatever adult beverages they have as well. And on Monday nights, they show Monday Night Football in a theatre. I know about two dozen guys that would make that a weekly habit in the fall.

So we watched Bond and ate chips and queso, and got out of the theatre for under $15. I can't describe how much fun it was. Find one of these and go see for yourself.

Wrong Turn at Albuquerque

Clicking on my favorite people list below has proven hazardous. One link took me places I SO did not want to go! Someone must have hijacked her old address and I hadn't updated it. Instead of the travel journal I expected, I was viewing a pictoral of a completely different kind. If you know what I mean.

I didn't learn anything new, though, if that's what you're asking.