Off My Meds
Yeah, no wonder I'm so tired. That stuff I was taking since the fall to help me quit smoking? I cut way back on smoking, and then my time ran out on the prescription. Tonight I'll smoke my last two and then, well, lots of prayer. I have given up chocolate for Lent before, but never something as serious as smoking. If I do it for thirty-eight days (I know, I know, I'm late) there's a good chance I will stay quitted. And it really is a sacrifice.
But the side effect is that I'm worn out half the time. Yesterday I had to force myself to keep moving; working at school for a while, shopping, making lists. If I stopped, I was going to fall asleep wherever I landed. It must be withdrawal, but I've been off the medication for a few weeks now. Would those withdrawals last as long as all that? I want my old energy back. It might be that I can call the doc and just beg a refill. As long as it didn't have any long-term negative effects, I'd take that stuff forever. With it, I feel invincible. I've accomplished so much and thought through problems so clearly and lucidly while taking it. Now four months of it and I am hooked. And having trouble concentrating since I'm off it.
Which also bothers me. I've never been one to take medication I didn't need. When I looked into the possibility of certain medications damaging my liver, I started toughing it out whenever I was feeling pain. Headaches I still medicate the crap out of, and tooth issues as well, but for everything else, I just lump it as long as possible. (This is how I discovered I have a high pain tolerance.) But I want this stuff back. I liked how I felt taking it. I liked the feeling of competence. But it shouldn't take a pill to make me able to recognize my accomplishments.
Still, I have to be conscious to HAVE accomplishments, and I'm not having an easy time achieving that state.
This is so not the time to be off my meds. Carnival is in 7 weeks, I'm taking over the treasurer position soon after that, somewhere in there I become precinct chair, I'm hoping to launch a business this summer, the Bigun has graduation and a birthday coming up, and then she goes to training.
Note to self: call the doctor Monday morning.
This message brought to you by GlaxoSmithKline.
posted by Fishie @ 8:55 PM
4 Comments:
What were you taking?
Pharmacy Tech Woman to the rescue! The only anti-smoking pill I know of is Zyban which goes by the generic name wellbutrin. That is an anti-depressant, which has the happy side effect of helping ppl quit smoking. You are so high on life, that you no longer need cigarettes. Unlike patches or gum, there is no real adverse side effect of smoking while on the drug, which is likely why it helps when so many other techniques fail. If you really want that cigarette, then you can have it! But here's the thing fish-o-my-heart, it is an anti-depressant, that you are now off of. This feeling is not a withdrawl, I'm sorry to say, it is how you always were off the drug, and you learned how to get around it. This does not mean you are depressed. Just like someone who has had a leg cast taken off will walk funny for awhile, until they get their groove back and their body remembers how to walk without the cast, your body will remember how to cope without the drug.
You have 2 choices to make here, and neither one of them is really pretty: 1. Tough it out, no matter how long it takes for your brain chemistry to settle down. 2. Beg for that refill to get you through the next few big challenges, then WEAN YOURSELF OFF OF IT SLOWLY. If your dose was, say 100mg, cut down to 50mg for 2 weeks, then 25mg for another two.
Personally though, considering what you've been through with your hectic life and the death of your neighbor, I see nothing wrong with you really needing an anti-depressant for awhile. Now- all the info I've given is for Zyban, if you have been on another drug, please let me know what it is and I will happily do the research on it for you. Trust me on this, though, you will get better.
I thought this message was brought to us by TheFish. Heh.
Ttaz has some good advice. I hope you feel better soon!
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