Walmart Baby Bingo

As promised.

This game is to be played at Walmart only after 9 p.m. Summer, you should probably wait until after 10 p.m. to play, to allow for longer daylight hours. Bring along a scratch paper and a pen - you'll need it. Also, bring along a friend or family member 15 years old or older. Compete and see who gets the highest score!

As you walk into Walmart, whip out your scorecard and pen. Your grocery list can serve double duty here. Your mission is to find as many children four years old or under (you may have to guess at ages) as you can in the store after the stated hours. In some neighborhoods, this will be very easy. Bonus points for every child present after midnight.

(Why midnight? I mean, who shops at midnight? Well, I do, because, um, I don't like to bring my kids to the store if I don't have to.)

The winner is determined by the rules under which you play. You can score by finding a child in each age group (infant, one, two, three, four) and get an actual BINGO. You can choose to score strictly on the number of children seen. You can earn bonuses for children who are crying or who are sleeping. You can use a multiplier for children from the same family, such as 1 point for 1 child, 3 points for 2 children and so on. The possibilities are endless! As you master one scoring plan, switch to another! Get daring! Give yourself bonus points for getting close enough to notice empty bottles, smell stinky diapers, or observe stains (one point each!)

You'll have the satisfaction of knowing that even something as awful as watching people drag their poor children through the store late at night can be fun.